The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, nearness, wellness, and love .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex check my reference Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing directory rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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